Author: Deborah Cavanagh

I am that person who starts preparing for what’s ahead way before the rest of the general population. My oldest child, Amanda, has Down syndrome, type 1 diabetes and celiac disease. When Amanda, who is now 21, was still in middle school, I began looking to see what was available when we left the world of school-supported services. Options have changed significantly since I began my search. To put together a self-directed plan that suited Amanda, I relied on information and services from Advocates Incorporated, an agency that helps people with developmental disabilities and their families. (Some of the information…

Read More

“What did he do now?” asked the parent who picked up the phone call from school. My sister Jennifer Tarolli, a high school English/special education teacher, heard this before she could even explain the reason for her call. “I had phoned this parent to let her know what a terrific job her son was doing on his homework,” Jennifer told me. She wondered why the parent immediately thought something bad had happened. Parents of students with challenges have walked in those shoes. It is where our heads immediately go the minute we see that dreaded school phone number on our…

Read More

Thank goodness Amanda loves salad. We were at the indoor water park Splash Lagoon years ago, and a man came over to our table while we were eating lunch. “Excuse me,” he said, “I just wanted to let you know that my wife and I are making our daughters watch your daughter eat her salad. It is an inspiration.” What we didn’t realize is that this love of vegetables and greens would serve us well when Amanda, who is now 20, graduated from high school and moved on to her next phase in life. I had been planning for this…

Read More

The concept of academic plateauing has been discussed for decades. The theory is that at a certain point there is a flattening of the learning curve: Understanding higher level material stalls or cannot be achieved, and new skill acquisition becomes impossible. If you search the term “plateau” at PsychologyDictionary.org, the entry states: “a time in learning whenever the learning curve flattens due to the rate of increase stopping temporarily, frequently due to tiredness, boredom, loss of willingness, or a modification in the level of ability necessary.” If you have a child with special needs, you may have heard this concept…

Read More

We just arrived home from my daughter’s first college interview. To say I wasn’t sure this moment would ever come would be an understatement. And yet Amanda has been sure of it forever: “When I graduate, I am going to college.” My daughter has Down syndrome. She also has had to deal with numerous health issues including a tracheostomy to assist with breathing for 12 years, type 1 diabetes, celiac disease and heart surgery. For the longest time we were happy just to “be.” Not Amanda. She has always had her eye on what was next. And she knows when…

Read More

Every year for Halloween my teen daughter, Amanda, wants to dress as whatever character is her latest musical or movie obsession. She has been Tracy Turnblad from Hairspray, Giselle from Enchanted, Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Each costume is never the one you can buy off the rack. She always wants to be in a specific dress from a certain scene—that is impossible to find. Over the years I have gotten assistance from friends who sew, creative salespeople in stores and eBay. I have scoured thrift shops, begged my mom and spent way too much time in costume stores…

Read More

Who takes an almost-2-year-old toddler, an 85-pound golden retriever, and two indoor cats on a three-week vacation odyssey? Yep, we do. It was a summer of 1999 adventure that sparked what was to become our annual Cavanagh Camping Trip. The original participants were my husband, Brian, my daughter, Amanda, our golden retriever, Clancy, two cats, Sunny and Cassidy, and me. We had at long last been given medical clearance to leave the immediate area. The previous 18 months had been spent in and out of Long Beach Memorial Hospital with Amanda. She has Down syndrome, and was born with numerous…

Read More